In her popular book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, Margareta Magnusson says something that resonates with me so deeply Do not ever imagine that anyone will wish - or be able to - take time off to take care of what you didn't take care of yourself.
I meet hundreds of people every year. Some of them are future dead people, and some of them are the families of recently dead people.
They all have one thing in common - they all have "stuff".
Some of it is financially valuable, some of it is emotionally valuable, some of it is historically valuable, most of it is clutter. All of it will be someone else's responsibility to manage, sort, keep or dispose of when there's no longer any need for it.
During estate planning, lots of people tell me they don't care what happens to their worldly possessions; it will be someone else's problem, Fiona, they can take what they want and put everything else in a skip for all I care.
What they fail to fully appreciate is that "sorting out a dead person's belongings" takes time, emotional fortitude, money, and a sense of duty or commitment to carry out something you couldn't be bothered doing yourself in your lifetime.
If It's Hard For You, It Will Be Even Harder For Others
What many future dead people fail to realise is how emotional and stressful it is to make decisions around someone else's belongings. Things that held absolutely no value when someone was alive suddenly take on a whole new meaning. Every drawer or cupboard, or box, opens a raft of memories that need to be processed.
Maybe you've found it hard to clean out your belongings due to family dynamics - I get it - but death has an uncanny way of magnifying any existing issues. Families often end up in lengthy and costly disputes over a deceased person's belongings or differences in how individuals believe belongings should be handled (it's not unusual for there to be one ruthless person happy to throw everything in the bin and one who wants to read every old newspaper article and open every envelope).
As difficult and overwhelming as it can feel, managing your own possessions ahead of time can significantly reduce the burden on your loved ones, allowing them time to focus on grieving rather than dealing with skip hire and commercial cleaners.
Sort The Trash From The Treasure
We've all watched those episodes of Antiques Roadshow where someone comes with an unassuming brown paper bag containing what they think is a holiday trinket, only to discover inside there's a $3m Faberge Egg (or something equally unattractive but highly valuable) that they were about to throw in the skip while cleaning out their dead mother's house.
If you've worked hard to collect something of value, don't assume someone else will be able to figure that out. Items of significant value should be added to your will or included in a personal asset plan that outlines when and how you want that asset handled after your death.
Don't Lose Track Of Sentimental Items
I've heard stories of war medals being thrown in a skip, boxes of precious photographs being burnt, and a wedding dress being given to the op-shop, simply because executors didn't know where those items were kept or they simply could not see the wood for the trees.
When your home is full to the brim of "stuff", it's easy for deeply sentimental, historical, or important items to get lost or thrown away by accident, especially if there's time pressure to clear your property (your home is rented, you live in an aged care facility, or your house needs to be sold quickly).
When you take the time to manage your personal items and specify who should receive them (or what should be done with them) you make it clear to your executor how they should proceed and limit the opportunity for disputes about "stuff" between family members.
How To Swedish Death Clean (or deal with your own stuff)
The core principle of Swedish Death Cleaning is to ease the burden of possessions and the process of clearing them out for loved ones, turning a potentially overwhelming task into an act of care and love.
As humans, we seem to be hardwired to collect rather than shed our belongings, which means it can be difficult to be pragmatic and clear away the excess in our lifetime. Managing your own possessions isn't about getting rid of everything: it's simply about making life a bit easier for the people left behind.
I encourage you to ask yourself, "Will anyone I know be happier if I save this?" If after a moment of reflection, you can honestly answer "no", then it goes: shred it, donate it, give it away, sell it.
There's no right or wrong way to streamline your belongings. The aim isn't to get the job done in a week or a month. Instead, it's a practical method of decluttering and being mindful when buying new belongings that follow these general steps:
- Adopt the right mindset and accept that possessions are temporary and that passing them on is an act of care, making life easier for the people who will outlive you.
- Start with non-sentimental items like clothes, kitchenware, office supplies, where emotional attachment is lower and you get momentum (and results) quicker.
- Work through one category at a time (books, tools, decor etc).
- Address sentimental items when you're warmed up, choosing a few meaningful items to keep (consider scanning or photographing others).
- Explain the meaning of what you keep with labels or a list explaining heirlooms or special possessions to avoid confusion later, and preserve the stories behind each item.
- Offer items to loved ones so you can see them enjoying them. Respect their choice if they decline your gift - the goal is to reduce the burden, not add to it.
- Organise what remains and continue assessing your belongings and releasing things you no longer need.
Other Resources You May Be Interested In:
Why a Personal Asset Plan is an Awesome Gift To Give Your Family
Buy a copy of The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
Download a Personal Asset Plan template