Most of us spend our lives trying to own things: our homes, our cars, our businesses, even our truth. The reality is, the final act of ownership, the one that really matters, is often the one we leave to someone else to figure out.
You might think you're avoiding a difficult conversation or saving yourself the paperwork, but what you're really doing is inviting a whole cast of other people to step in and take ownership of decisions on your behalf.
So who will own your death?
The Law?
Dying without a will (known as dying intestate) means the things that happen after your death are decided according to a legal formula. If you don't make a plan, you'll die with the government's plan. While that might work for you, it won't necessarily mirror your personal values and wishes or deliver the best outcomes for the people you leave behind.
The Administrator of Your Estate?
An important part of writing a will is nominating someone to be "the boss" of your estate (though we prefer to think of your executor as the 'head and the heart').
When you die without a will, someone (from a prescribed list of legally suitable applicants) will apply to the Courts for Letters of Administration and will then make decisions on your behalf.
The Court might approve the obvious person, but maybe not the person who knows you best or who you feel would make decisions that align with your thoughts and values.
Everyone who believes they know you best?
If you're relying on other people "sorting it out", without providing any kind of guidance, the reality is you're setting those same people up to fight, fall out, or fold.
Without a will, people come out of the woodwork to play a game of "I knew the dead person best".
All kinds of players will step onto the pitch and try to take ownership over your death: your parents, your partner, your ex-spouse, your children, the surviving parent of your children, your siblings, your best mate....
Own Your Own Death
A will stops a cast of people fighting about what you would have wanted by making your own wishes clear.
Owning your death means taking control of the parts of your life that are important.
- Naming an executor you trust to honour your wishes and handle your affairs.
- Choosing the beneficiaries you care about.
- Making provision for children and dependants so there's stability and they can be looked after how and when it matters (without surviving parents having to fight on their behalf).
- Leave clear instructions for your funeral, your favourite car or secret stamp collection, your pets, your home, and your legacy.
When you take ownership over your death, you give your family the freedom to grieve without chaos, second-guessing, tension, and bureaucracy.
Your death is part of your life story. You deserve to be the author of every chapter, including the last one.