Someone died. What do I do?

You've been named the executor in someone's will or you're the next of kin, but you've never been in this position before, and you have absolutely no idea what to do after someone has died.

Welcome to the club you didn't want to be a member of. The Grief Club.

Let me start by saying that where you are right now is intense. You don't usually get a heads-up that you're about to step into this position, and you're being asked to carry out tasks that require decision-making capacity and critical thinking when you, let's be honest, can barely make yourself a cup of tea.

I'm sorry you're here (but also glad you're here because you don't need to be digging around the internet at this point in your life trying to find answers to your questions.

We've got you. Here's where to start >

Your job is to bring the heart - even if yours is breaking.

Your job as executor is to be the heart and head of your loved one. This can be an exhausting and emotional ask, especially if you're in shock or grieving. You'll be asked to make decisions on behalf of your person often from the very first moment you find out they've died.

Before you do anything else, find someone whose only job is to support you - it might be a friend, a colleague, a therapist, a faith organisation or call us and we can put you in touch with someone.

 Fixing things feels safe but isn't always smart.

Many executors jump straight into "fixing" mode. They get busy making phone calls, cancelling things, making decisions, handing things out. At a time you may feel completely out of control, I completely understand the appeal (also, you don't have to be an armchair psychologist to understand that being busy is a very effective way of keeping grief at arm's length).

The problem with making big decisions in the first few weeks after death is that they often get made without taking the time to think through the long-term legal or emotional complications that may arise. The death of a loved one is a marathon, not a sprint. Go slow and take your time.

If you need something to do, plan an awesome memorial instead of calling banks or yelling at the RAA.

Read more about your executor tasks HERE.

 Cremate, bury, memorial, funeral, or nothing?

One of the very first questions you'll get asked is what you want to do with your person's body. This can be extremely confronting and overwhelming, especially if you have absolutely no idea what your person wanted and suddenly you're being asked to make what feels like a very big decision (this is why we ask our will makers to do this one thing for their family and have a conversation about what they want their funeral to look like so they're not left guessing).

If your person had a YEL will, there will be a clause right at the back of their will that outlines their wishes (cremation or burial at the very least).

Many hospitals and nursing homes don't have the facilities to keep your person for more than a few hours and may ask you to make a decision very quickly. You can ask that your person be taken to a private mortuary (not a funeral home), which will give you the time to really think about what you want to do (and who you want taking care of your person). You can also change your mind; if you initially agree to having your person collected by a facility's "preferred supplier", you can arrange for them to be transferred to a funeral home of your choosing.

If your person died at home, there's no rush to move them, and many people access cool plates to keep their person at home for several days.

If you're not sure of your options, you're welcome to contact our support human to talk through your choices (support@yourestatelawyer.com.au) or read more HERE.

Someone needs to think about the children (and the pets).

Your job is to ensure immediate care for any children, vulnerable adults and/or pets for the short term. Long-term guardians will be nominated in the deceased's will (or will be decided by the court if there's no will).

Secure and insure your person's property.

As executor, you are responsible for ensuring all assets are protected on behalf of the beneficiaries. I recommend you take out insurance for the FULL value of any property and contents (you can use the deceased's insurance provider or arrange a cover note with your own insurer).

You cannot distribute any property to family, friends, or beneficiaries - even if they're listed in the will or the dead person "promised them an item".

If you need to remove any items for safekeeping, make sure you photograph and document everything.

Locate a valid will.

A will determines who has legal authority to make decisions, who is responsible for the care of any children, pets or business operations, plus details for any funeral directions.

If your person had a YEL will look for a navy blue will packet (if they're a Dream Dead Person, they will have filled it with all kinds of helpful information). If you're having trouble finding a will you can find out more about locating wills and other important documents HERE or call us for guidance on what to do next.

 Contact important people (that includes Centrelink but not the RAA).

Telling people your loved one has died can be really hard. Some people want to call every friend and acquaintance, while others make two calls and tap out. Lots of people tell me the first calls they made about their person were to the RAA, the ATO, the library, the dentist (or their lawyer) - anyone who wasn't going to get overly emotional at the news. Practice on whoever you need or want to - holding other people's grief and sadness is exhausting.

While I suggest you keep professional organisations out of your immediate contact list (at least for the time being), if your person was receiving Cetrelink payments, put them on your ASAP Contact List. This will ensure you don't have to pay back any payments made after the date of death (which is a big fat arse around you want to avoid).

You can find some great tips about calling friends and family HERE.

 Pack up hospital, hospice, nursing home or rental property.

If your person owned their own home, there's no need to do anything at this point (you're unable to sell their home until you have received a grant of probate). If your person was residing in a nursing home, hospice or hospital, you will be required to vacate the room as soon as possible.

If they rented their home, you may want to make arrangements with other family to help pack up and vacate the property to avoid paying rent for a long period of time. Whilst this isn't urgent or required in the first 48 hours, it's worth considering when people ask how they can help.

 Get ready to fill in forms (lots of them).

In the days after your person has died, it can feel like there are constant requests for information and endless forms to be completed, including intake forms for the funeral director, details for the death certificate, cremation or burial request forms, plus exit forms for hospital or nursing home care and information that will be requested by the funeral celebrant (if that's the option you're taking).

While this might not happen for a few days or weeks (depending on your personal circumstances) it's worth collecting some documents and information to help make the process a little bit less overwhelming. You can find a list of helpful information HERE.

When to call your lawyer?

Anytime. There might not be anything I can do right away, but my team and I are always here to help you navigate life after death.

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Other Useful Articles and Resources

Executor Checklist (download and print)
Estate Management Resources (step-by-step online guides)
Did they mean 'no funeral'? Or did they mean 'not that kind of funeral'? (Why funerals are important)
Dream Dead Person Project (all the things will makers can do to make life easier for executors)